憂鬱的反動力
陳安安、黃韶瑩雙個展
The Dynamic of Melancholia
Chen Anan, Huang Shao-ying double solo show
展 期 ▕ 2016/10/22（六）— 2016/11/22（日）
開 幕 ▕ 2016/10/22（六）15:00
地 點 ▕ 朋 丁 pon ding 3樓
地 址 ▕ 台北市中山區中山北路一段53巷6號
░ 藝術家座談 artist talk
2016/10/22（六）15:30
░ 展覽概念 Exhibition Statement
For English, please scroll down.
兩位藝術家藉由不同的生命經驗切入思考關於自身憂鬱的產生。一位是關於自身性傾向在跨渡文化、空間和語言時，所經歷到情慾的自由的展現、壓抑與被綑綁;另一位是在自己成長環境中的經驗裡，如何將自己看似重複性的勞動、精神與情感投射在一個個被懸吊的肉身與空間中。我們在彼此憂鬱的堆疊裡取得共鳴，並思考憂鬱是否只能成為相對於正向積極能量的消極？它是否只能是生命中必須被拒絕的負面能量？同時，在生命裡拒絕負面能量的本身，是否為另一種憂鬱的生產？而它的消極與被拒絕又能如何將之轉化為一種反動的力量？
陳安安以同志與酷兒經驗,在跨越文化、語言、空間、位置...等, 種種不同條件下，所必須面對某種程度上的現身ㅡ是在選擇說、不說或是不明說的曖昧模糊裡游移。但現今台灣主流社會裡，宣讀著"尊重多元性別"與提倡"營造性別友善空間"等的政治口號，是否已經與LGBTQ主體們的真實生命經驗產生斷裂？換句話說，那樣"被營造的空間"是否真實？是否能回應他們的生存需求？或只是一種泡沫幻影般的假象，反而迫使著他們必須驕傲、必須歡慶他們的身份。而這樣強烈的矛盾感，是被剝奪的憂鬱所產出的另一種憂鬱。
黃韶瑩透過自身的生活經驗切入，反覆思考生活的本質處在看似重複的勞動狀態裡。人們拼命的重複著勞動與生活，然後再持續勞動。透過這樣勞動的過程，卻逐漸導向了面對生命的空洞感。我們的生活一直圍繞在重複性的動作裡，勞動、精神與情感不斷地投入這樣子的空洞，最終產生憂鬱的情感。但是換個方向思考，我的想像是憂鬱本身就是一種意識，具備意識之後，憂鬱可以變成一種反向的力量。
Two artists who address the origins of their own depressions based on their differing life experiences. One artist examines how her own sexual orientation, within a context of cross-cultural transition, space and language, affects the free expression, repression and restraint of her passion/lust; the other artist examines her own experiences within the environment in which she grew up. She explores how to project her own seemingly repetitive work and mental state and emotions onto carcasses suspended in space. We derive resonance from the depths of these depressions and are led to consider whether depressive states can only ever exist as negative and passive opposites of positive energy? Are they only negative energies that must be resisted within our lives? And how can the negativity and rejection of depression be transformed into a kind of reactive power?
Chen Anan draws on her experiences within the queer community and, under cross-cultural, linguistic, spatial and situational conditions, addresses the issue of to what degree her queerness should be visible - should she choose to come out, to not come out, or to waver in a state of ambiguity? Moreover, is it the case that the present day advocating of political slogans such as “Respect gender diversity” or “Build gender-neutral spaces” within mainstream Taiwan society has already caused a rupture in the actual life experience of LGBTQ? To put it another way, are the spaces that are constructed real spaces? Can they meet the survival needs of LGBTQ? Or is it just a fluffy illusion that forces the queer community to declare their pride and celebrate their identity? And does this fierce contradiction cause the development of another kind of depression on top of the old, denuded depression?
Huang Shao-ying draws on her own life experience to examine the idea that the nature of life is a state of repetitive labor. Humans’ work and lives are made up of repetitive actions. We go to work, we go home, we go back to work. The repetitive nature of these actions in turn gradually produces a feeling of emptiness. Our lives are an endless cycle of repetitive actions, and our work, mental state and emotions are constantly projected into this empty hole, the end result of which is depression. But if we view this from another angle, the artist imagines that depression is just a form of consciousness and once we are conscious of this, depression can become a kind of reverse power.
░ 藝術家個別論述 artist statement
陳安安 Chen Anan
對同志與酷兒們來說，在家庭、工作與任何社交場所中，是什麼樣的空間環境下可以選擇現身與否。選擇說，不說與不明說，我們的性身份在這曖昧模糊的言語中遊走，這是我們在大環境下保護自己的生存方式。隱身，更是我們在主流社會中的保護色。但在社會主流強調主體身份下，我們是否還能保有曖昧模糊的表達空間？在政府強調打造性別友善空間下，是否暗示著揭露自己性身份的義務。於是隱身，是否也成為有條件的。
在主流社會讚揚「尊重多元性別」與「性別友善」的空虛口號下，強調了性別，是否也切割了階級，貧窮，勞工，與所謂不乾淨性......等個體的多元身份。當大多數的人還是選擇隱身，於是在看不見多元性別情況下以前，如何談尊重？而當這些空虛的口號淪落為一種政治正確的選擇，友善的假象中，是否忽略了LGBTQ主體所需要面對的現實層面。這樣漂亮的糖衣,又是如何讓歧視與暴力和他人的苦難變得更加隱晦曖昧與不可見。
矛盾，再次回到LGBTQ個體的選擇身上。在「友善環境」中，我們耽溺於憂鬱的選擇被剝奪。我們必須歡慶我們的身份，必須狂歡，必須驕傲。於是什麼樣的空間，才是我們曖昧模糊身份的庇護所。
For gays and queers, the decision whether or not to come out is often based on the type of space and environment they find themselves in, whether at home, in the workplace or in any of a range of social settings. To choose to out yourself, to not out yourself or to leave it unclear, our sexual identity drifts within this ambiguous language. This is how we protect ourselves and survive within a broader environment. The cloak of invisibility is the camouflage by which we live in mainstream society. But with mainstream society’s emphasis on subjective identity, can we also set aside an ambiguous space for expression? As governments emphasise the construction of gender-neutral spaces does this suggest an obligation to disclose our own sexual identities? And does invisibility now become an option with conditions attached?
With mainstream society lauding empty slogans such as “Respect sexual diversity” and “Gender neutrality” there is an emphasis on gender while putting to one side identity issues relating to class, poverty and labor rights. While the majority of people still choose invisibility, meaning that gender diversity remains unseen, how do we talk of respect? And when these empty slogans become a kind of PC option, creating an illusion of gender neutrality, does it not cause a neglecting of the realities that the LGBTQ community needs to face? This kind of sugar coating serves only to render discrimination, violence and the plight of others more concealed and invisible.
Contradictorily we return to the choices made by individual LGBTQ. Within a “gender neutral” environment the depression which we choose to wallow in is withheld from us. We have to celebrate our identity and assert our pride. And what is the space in which this occurs? The sanctuary of our ambiguous identities.
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黃韶瑩 Huang Shao-ying
對我來說憂鬱很日常，面對生活而感到空洞的這件事，我們必須不停地產生動能，讓身體的疲勞記住生活的動作，的確，對我來說這就是一種經常憂鬱的。
小時候經常在家裡的肉品加工廠幫忙，雖然高中畢業離開南部之後到現在，記憶中並不會因為時間而灰濛，眼裡看見的場景與那些肉的觸感依然清晰在我的腦海裡。記憶中，冷凍庫的煙霧流出，肉身們堆疊在生鏽的橘色推車上，推往到另外一個更沒有情緒的空間，然後從在這空間的身體們，我似乎感覺到身在重複性勞動過程中的身體，這裡面是空洞地。
最近經常在回想著這樣的場景––––那些被掏空的肉身以及勞動中的肉身。勞動中的身體，會因為外在的環境而產生變化，個體的意識好像被遺忘在勞動中，我似乎看到那些被掏空的肉身或是勞動的身體產生呼應的，然後憂鬱。換一個角度，我想像的憂鬱也許就是一種試圖讓身體意識到存在的力量，就好像是在環境裡的我們試圖證明個體，擺脫憂鬱，但往往在這過程中產生拉扯。而我在思考的事，也許在憂鬱中的思考才是更具有力量地，自身的憂鬱可以產生出一種反動的力量––––像是某種意識。
在現實社會中，生活的勞動與勞動中的生活，彼此都是無法脫離。但我的想像是如果身在現實中，我們還能夠保有個體的意識，那當下的憂鬱或內心空洞這件事，就會是一種同時是反向負面但具備意識的力量吧？
To me depression is an everyday occurrence. Facing life and feeling empty, we need to constantly generate energy. The fatigue of our bodies is a testament to the actions of our lives. To me this is a form of ordinary depression.
When I was small I often helped out in my family’s meat processing factory. Although after graduating from high school I no longer lived in the south, the memories of this time remain fresh in my mind and I can still clearly see the scene in my mind’s eye and feel the texture of the meat in my hands. In my memory vapor pours from the frozen goods storehouse while carcasses are piled on the rusty orange trolley to be pushed to an even more emotionless space. From the bodies that occupy this space I can almost feel my own body in this process of repetitive labor. This is a hollow space.
Recently I have frequently recalled this scene - the hollowed out carcasses as well as those still being processed. Bodies at work, being transformed by their external environment while individual consciousness seems to be forgotten in the midst of labor. I seem to see those hollowed out carcasses and the laborers’ bodies responding to each other, and then depression. From another angle, maybe the depression that I imagine is just an attempt to make the body feel the power of existence, just like trying to find proof of individuality and shake off depression within an environment but being constantly dragged down in the process. When I am thinking about things, maybe it my thoughts while depressed that are the most powerful. My depression can produce a kind of counterforce - like a form of consciousness.
In actual society, the work we do in our lives and the life we live in our work, neither can be escaped. But in my imagining even within reality we can still preserve individual consciousness. And day to day depression or inner emptiness maybe can become a kind of inverted negativity with the power of consciousness.
